Second wind - and a possible new framework?

 Having slept on my sense of frustration about not knowing which way to go, this morning a new visual representation of the psyche presented itself to me.

Rather than a two-dimensional arrangement of 8 squares, two across and four down, with each of the four pairs representing a "block": Ego, Super-Ego, Super-Id and Id, I envisioned a three-dimensional arrangement of cubes. Four cubes in a square arrangement, a plane, and below the plane a mirroring square arrangement of cubes. If you look down on the arrangement you see four squares, and each square has T, F, S, or N. T and F are diagonal from each other, and so are S and N.

If you were to look "down" onto my cube you would see this:

Fi Se

Ne Ti

If you rotated "left" onto the other side of the plane dividing the squares of cubes, and looked "up", you'd see this:

Si Fe

Te Ni

This model has the F, T, S, and N cubes joined into pairs, across the plane. What does the plane represent? It represents the division between the conscious and subconscious, or in Aushra's terminology, the "mental ring" and the "vital ring".

In Aushra's model, for my type (ESI aka ISFj aka ISFP), the Feeling (Ethical) ... "resonators"? are in positions 1 (Base aka Dominant) and 7 (Ignoring). In my model Fi and Fe are joined in a single yin/yang module. My "fleshly tendency" (to use a Pauline theological idea) is to over-indulge Fi (because I can consciously invoke its activity) and under-use Fe (because while I'm exercising it Fi has to "sleep"). My Feeling pair is, in my make-up, in a position of strength and confidence. In contrast my Intuition pair (Ne on the Conscious side of the plane, Ni on the Subconscious) is in a position of vulnerability and dependence on others. My Thinking pair (Ti in Conscious, Te in Subconscious) is in a position of aspiration and "selling" to others. My Sensing pair (Se in Conscious, Si in Subconscious) in a position of exploration and play, foraying out into the new and uncharted with an optimistic spirit.

I have a "doppelganger" in my Subconscious, who looks like an ESE (aka ESFj aka ESFJ), and the ESE type has my type as its doppelganger. Model A calls the relationship between these types "Extinguishment" or "Contrary". If I "turn on" my Ti (which I can do consciously, but in my configuration it feels like a drain and like I'm at risk of being exposed or failing expectations) while I'm with an ESE, it feeds their unconscious thirst for Ti, and vice versa with Te. When they exercise Te (consciously) it doesn't feel relaxing to them but it slakes my subconscious thirst for its activity within me. It is called Extinguishment, I believe, because each "solitary episode" (i.e. a conversation between the types without involvement by anyone else) inevitably peters out with a vague sense on the part of both, that nothing was "accomplished". But this is only disappointing if you had entered the conversation with the expectation of accomplishing something.

There are so many gaps to fill here in this model, in order for it to seem coherent to a reader. But I am helping myself piece together the puzzle, by throwing out this scattershot combination of disparate concepts. I can see where the gaps are, so I can come back and shore it up. ("Puzzle-completing" is one of the quintessential marks of Ti, Introverted Thinking.) If I try to do Ti alone, in writing, it feels less risky socially to me than if I do it "live" in conversation with someone. This is why I declared in my 5/15 post that I refuse to be ashamed of what I write. I am forgiving myself in advance for my Ti "failures" and "stumbles" and "faux pas".

Time for bed. I have to get up at 5:45am to begin a sequence of tasks that will lead to our endoscopy documentation system getting upgraded to a new version of the software. If all goes well, I will be done by 2pm. Wish me luck, if you're reading this between 10:20pm on 5/20 and 5:45am on 5/21!